Time of My Life (Oceanic Dreams #2) Read online

  He gasped. “Seriously?”

  I nodded, not wanting to explain that most people only looked out for themselves. A woman who would abandon her children didn’t want to send them money each month, even when a court order said to.

  “What about visitation?” Frank asked.

  “Never exercised it, and Dad didn’t want to force her to see us. I asked him about it a few years ago.” My throat thickened at the memory. “He said that it didn’t benefit me or Heather to sit there while Mom went to a salon and got her nails done, ignoring us. Or worse, called a baby-sitter.”

  “That’s so awful,” Frank said. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. He’s right. A terrible visit wouldn’t have made me feel any better than all the skipped and cancelled visits. At least in the beginning, I could pretend she wanted to see me but something important kept her away.”

  “So that’s it? She left, took your dad back to court a few times, and that’s it?”

  “Pretty much,” I said. “At the last hearing when I was eight or nine, the judge cancelled her support and visits with us. Dad wasn’t even there. He couldn’t afford a lawyer, and he couldn’t take the day off work.”

  “The support wasn’t enough to make up for one day off? Or to help him get by while looking for a better job?”

  I wanted to shake my head at his naiveté. To Dad, getting himself fired would be as alien a concept as flying to the moon. We needed his paychecks, lived month to month. “Not when she never paid,” I said. “He couldn’t risk it.”

  “Wow. That’s a lot for a child to carry around.”

  “I didn’t know, at the time,” I said. “Dad protected us. Said she was sick, or taking care of her parents. Or she got a new job with a boss who wouldn’t let her take time off to come see us. Maybe we accepted what he said at face value because we didn’t want to know the truth.”

  “How did you find out?”

  “When I was a teenager, Dad and I had a big fight. Something stupid, I don’t even remember what. I told him I wanted to go live with my mother. It was the saddest I’ve ever seen him look, to this day. But even then, he never said anything bad about her. Called her up, tried to arrange a meeting. We still had a landline for emergencies, couldn’t afford cell phones. I listened in.” I paused, swallowing hard at the memory.

  Leaning over, Frank took my hand in his, rubbing my palm with his thumb. The intimacy of the gesture soothed me. “It was bad, huh?”

  “Horrible.” I sniffled and rubbed my forehead with the back of my other hand. Frank waited patiently until I continued. “I heard everything. Dad begged her to meet with me, even to have lunch or coffee. A one-hour meeting. She refused to give me even sixty minutes out of her life when I was desperate to see her. He asked her to at least talk to me and explain that she didn’t have room for me to live with her, and she wouldn’t do it. After less than ten minutes, I burst into tears and slammed down the phone.”

  “Did you get in trouble for listening?”

  I gazed off into the sea for a minute for answering, strangely calm. “No. Dad never even mentioned it. He had to know. When he came back into my room later, I asked him to take me for ice cream. We talked about school and boys and neither of us brought it up again.”

  “Where’s your dad now?”

  Part of me didn’t want to tell him, didn’t want any more sympathy. But partners needed to be open and honest with each other. “He’s in assisted living. That’s why I need this job. I send every spare cent to help with his care.”

  “Oh.” The sound filled the room.

  I didn’t know what else to say, and maybe he didn’t, either. The two of us sat in silence for several minutes, lost in our own thoughts.

  “Tell me a story,” I said suddenly. “You’ve heard about my sad life. Tell me about your happy one.”

  He opened his mouth, just as a loud clack shot through the studio. Someone unlocked the top bolt on the outer doors. Meaning they’d be here in a matter of seconds. I shot to my feet, yanking my shorts up and a bra over my head in record time. Suddenly I was grateful that pole required so little clothing.

  Frank grabbed his discarded clothes off the mat, scooped up the underwear that somehow landed in a far corner, and scurried through the door leading to the locker room. Never had I seen a grown man move so fast.

  By the time Max stood in front of me, I was very calmly buckling my shoes. If he noticed my flushed face or accelerated breathing, he attributed it to the strenuousness of my workout.

  “Janey! I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

  “Sorry. Just going over the routine for the Talent Show.”

  He looked around the room. “Alone?”

  “Penny will be here later,” I said.

  “Okay. So listen, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

  “Really?” My ears perked up.

  “Yeah. We’re taking a chance on a pole fitness performance because this is a singles cruise, where the crowd is a bit younger and more open-minded.”

  What about the fact that my classes have been packed every day? I wanted to ask, but didn’t. Pole was gaining in popularity, and not just among millennials. But Max didn’t drop by to chat. If he wanted to talk about the performance, he had something on his mind. I motioned for him to continue.

  “Make sure you bring your A-game,” he said. “This is one risk that has to pay off.”

  “Oh, it’ll pay off,” I said. “I’ve been thinking of ways to sexy up the performance, put in some more daring moves. The routine we talked about seems a bit robotic in places. Even some more fun music might shake things up a bit.”

  “We’re not looking to ‘shake things up’. Your job is to show people the kind of things they can learn from you if they book a second cruise. The types of things their kids can learn. No one wants their kids to grow up to be a stripper.”

  The words lanced my heart, but I forced my tone to remain steady. “You think so? I mean, it seems like putting our best foot forward–”

  “Look, you’re welcome to do whatever you want for your part of the show,” he said. “But your contract is up for renewal at the end of the month, and we’re looking to staff the Aphrodite with team players, if you get my meaning.”

  He couldn’t be more clear: I could play along. Do the end-of-cruise demonstration he mapped out for me and Penny and keep my job or be bold, entertaining, and unemployed. If only I had anywhere else to go, but I didn’t.

  Biting my tongue, I nodded. “I’m happy to do the routine we talked about. It’s going to look great.”

  “Excellent! I’m glad you see things my way.” He offered a thin smile that made me want to throw up on him. I held his gaze, not reacting, until he walked away.

  As soon as the door shut behind him, I let out a sound of frustration that echoed through the room.

  “Why did you do that?” Frank’s voice came from behind me. Caught up in my conversation with Max, I’d forgotten that he waited in the locker room.

  “Sorry,” I said. “He’s so frustrating sometimes! I’ve got so many great ideas–”

  “Not that,” Frank said. “I get why you’re upset. I want to scream at that guy, too. I mean, why did you let him talk to you like you’re nothing?”

  The question threw me off guard. I looked at him, thinking. Until that moment, nothing seemed off about Max’s tone; it simply was the way things were. “Max always talks to me like that. A lot of people do, honestly.”

  “You should stand up to them! Come on, Janey, you’re always talking about how unfair the world is. Maybe if you stood up for yourself, things would be better.”

  “If I stood up for myself? Are you serious? If I tell Max what I think about his stupid ideas, I’m out of a job.”

  “So you’re out of a job. You can find someone to work for who treats you better. Treats you the way you deserve.”

  “Oh, really? You hiring?” I shot back. His words frustrated me to no end. What must it be l
ike to be born rich, white, and male in America? When we met, I thought we saw the world differently, but sometimes we weren’t even looking at the same world.

  Frank let out a breath. “I’m sorry. I just meant…you deserve better. I wish I could help.”

  “You are helping,” I reminded him. “And I know it sucks, but it is what it is. Max is the worst. We all know it. I need this job, so I deal with it.”

  “And you’re going to let him tell you how to do your routine?”

  A smile curved my lips. “Of course not. We’re doing the routine my way. The crowd will love it so much, Max’ll look like a fool if he fires me.”

  “Damn right. We’ll show him.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Max’s interruption left me irritated, so we decided to take a break and go get something to eat. The two of us meandered through the crowds on the Lido Deck, not talking. Part of me was still frustrated that, no matter how much time we spent together, Frank didn’t get what it was like to be poor. I couldn’t throw my career away in favor of my principles.

  All of a sudden, Frank’s eyes widened. He grabbed my arm and yanked, dragging me behind a stack of unused deck chairs. Into the shadows.

  Shaking my arm out of his grasp, I gaped at him. “What are you doing?”

  At that moment, a voice reached my ears. High-pitched, snooty. I had no trouble visualizing the speaker. “Jake, are you sure you saw Frank? Why would he be in here when he said he planned to spend the day at the casino?”

  The casino. Yet another difference between us. I couldn’t imagine putting my hard-earned money into a machine and hoping more came out, but that’s because I couldn’t afford to lose.

  A male voice responded, deep and gravelly. It was the first time I’d heard Frank’s friend speak, which suddenly seemed odd. “I swear, I saw him walking next to someone.”

  Frank’s arm tightened on mine, holding me in place.

  “Who would he be with? We’re all here, and Nellie’s meeting Max for lunch.” Another female voice, this one unknown to me. Probably Jake’s wife, whose name I couldn’t remember. “Come on, it’s too loud up here, and my feet hurt. I’m going up to the adults-only hot tub to relax.”

  “Fine, I’ll look for him myself. I don’t know why I have to do everything.” Lisa again.

  The other woman huffed, her voice already further away. “Jake?”

  “Coming. Lisa, we’ll see you there.” His voice faded as he spoke, so I assumed they were walking away from us. Of course, they didn’t know that, because for some reason, Frank and I were hiding.

  I pushed him away. “What are you doing?”

  “Shh!”

  This was stupid. We had things to do, and we were allowed to walk around on the same deck. Instead of answering him, I turned to leave. Before I could move, Lisa appeared before us, her mouth opened in such a perfect “O” of surprise, it had to be an affectation. “Francis?”

  Instantly, Frank dropped my arm and stepped away from me. “Hey, Lisa. What’s going on?” His voice was three octaves higher than usual.

  “Hi,” I said, not liking the vibe this scene gave me.

  “We’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Lisa glanced toward me for half a second before her lip curled. “Why are you talking to this stripper? I hope you’ve got hand sanitizer.”

  Frank stammered. He looked back and forth between me and his sister, clearly at a loss for words. It would have been so easy to say the truth, or that we’d become friends, or even that he’d been taking dance lessons from me. But he said nothing.

  I thought we’d formed a bond, especially after last night. As the silence stretched between us, the enormity of my mistake hit me. This was all wrong. I couldn’t stand here and let Lisa disparage me while Frank stood in silence.

  “We’re not doing anything.” I moved past Lisa, toward the railing and the open air. Suddenly, standing so close to Frank was stifling. “Nothing at all. After all, I’m just ‘the help’, right?”

  “Janey, wait,” he said. “It’s not what you think.”

  But it was what I thought. The answer was as clear as the nose on his face. No further explanation needed.

  “Is this what you were talking about?” I asked him. “Not letting people talk down to me? Standing up for myself to improve my situation. Why aren’t you standing up for us?”

  His face turned white. There was no point waiting for a reply. Without another word, I turned and ran. He’d never follow, not when the people who mattered might see.

  Although I didn’t specifically decide to go there, my feet carried me across the planks to my studio where I could expend my energy the best way I knew how: On the pole. Queuing up my special “angry chick rock” play list, I climbed to the ceiling, spread my arms, and screamed. It felt good, so I screamed again. The soundproofed walls shouldn’t allow my rage to penetrate the walls of the spa next door, but it didn’t even matter. I simply let myself go.

  My legs swung open, and I plummeted toward the ground, snapping my thighs shut at the last second to avoid slamming into the ground. One of my favorite moves, and always a crowd pleaser. Then I dismounted, turning and placing my shoulder against the pole before rolling my body upwards. I went through the most difficult moves I knew, wearing myself out too much to think.

  An hour later, my rage spent, Frank found me slumped against the wall in the shoe closet, sorting pairs for lack of anything better to do. “Hey.”

  I glared at him, then continued chucking shoes into one of two bins. He flinched as the first shoe whizzed by his hip. Each pair landed with a satisfying thud. I didn’t ask what took him so long to come find me. Probably talking to his friends about how many cars to buy with their buckets of cash.

  “I know you’re mad at me. I deserve it.”

  Since that was the truth, I still didn’t answer. Staring up at him from this position was putting a crick in my neck, so my stony gaze moved to the floor.

  “Don’t I get a chance to explain?”

  “There’s no need. I get it. You were looking for a good time, figured the former stripper would be perfect for a roll in the hay. If you’ll excuse me, I need to practice.”

  He moved, allowing me to push past him. But when my shoulder brushed his chest, he gently touched my arm. “Please. It’s not like that.”

  “Then how is it?”

  “You scare me.” His voice trembled. “I’ve dated a lot, but I’ve never met anyone like you. I think about you all the time. I know we come from different worlds, but I don’t care.”

  “If that were true, you would’ve defended me to your sister.”

  “I’m sorry. I panicked, and my brain froze.”

  “When your first instinct is to make sure no one knows we know each other, that’s a problem. One I don’t have time for. I’m sorry. This was a big mistake.”

  “What about the performance?” He asked as I walked past him, toward the poles. “You still need to blow everyone away, and there’s no time to teach the routine to anyone else.”

  He was absolutely right, but in that moment, I didn’t care. “I’ll manage.”

  “Big words from someone who was desperate for my help a few days ago.” He increased the pitch of his voice to sound more feminine. “‘Help me, Baby Cakes, you’re my only hope.’”

  “I made a mistake.” My voice shook, betraying my bravado for what it was. “I can do it on my own. Just like everything else in life. Relying on you was stupid.”

  He crossed the room in three strides, stopping and spinning around in front of me. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. You don’t have to do anything alone. Not anymore. I’m sorry. I’ll fix it.”

  “What are you going to do? Tell her that we’re friends and maybe more? Or maybe even suggest that she shouldn’t treat people badly because they happen to work in entertainment.”

  “Absolutely.” He paused, and my heart stopped. “Right after the finale.”

  “You mean once the cruise is ov
er and you never have to see me again.”

  There it was. My words hung in the air like a slap in the face. The thing neither of us wanted to acknowledge. Once the ship docked back in Miami, we were done.

  Frank sighed, running one hand through his hair. “I meant, after the performance. Lisa’s been spending a lot of time with Robbie and Max and Nellie. I tell her about us, she’ll tell them.”

  Nellie. There she was again. He’d said they weren’t a couple, and yet she seemed to turn up a lot. “Why does it matter if Nellie knows about us?”

  “I’m worried about Max.”

  “You didn’t answer my question.” To avoid his eyes, I climbed up the pole. Having something to focus on made it easier to contain the emotions roiling around inside me. “You said earlier that you and Nellie aren’t a couple. Does it matter if she knows about us?”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “Enlighten me. I’ve got nothing but time.”

  “It doesn’t matter if Nellie knows about us. Like I said, we’re not a couple,” he said. “But her parents think we are.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Nellie’s mom’s family owns the cruise ship. Her father is a doctor,” he said. “Growing up, Dr. Kellerman wanted Nellie to follow in his footsteps. In a way, she did: playing softball, going to Princeton like he did. But whereas he went on to medical school, Nellie is terrified at the sight of blood. She couldn’t do it, got her MBA instead.”

  “What does that have to do with you?”

  “Since Dr. Kellerman can’t leave his medical practice to his daughter, he wants the next best thing: a son-in-law. He loves me, always has. He’s part of the influences that sent me to medical school after my accident. He wants to make me his partner. He also wants me and Nellie to get married.”

  “So what, you’re using her?” Just when I thought nothing in this situation could horrify me more, he told me that he was pretending to date an old friend to get her father’s medical practice.