She's Got Game Page 8

  But as these thoughts swirled in my head, my feet continued toward their original destination. My shock carried me forward; making a decision and changing plans was too much effort.

  Two things brought me in the door: the desperate need for a drink, and the thought that if I bailed, it would erase all the progress I’d made with Cody. I wanted him to view me as a real competitor, as a threat. If I stood him up, he might think his flirting got to me, which could give him an advantage in tomorrow’s game. As badly as I didn’t want to see anyone, I couldn’t give him the upper hand like that. One drink, some small talk, a stop at the nearest liquor store, then back to the room to do shots until I didn’t see my mother’s face whenever I peered into a mirror.

  From the doorway, I spotted Cody easily, his back to me. I sidled toward the restroom, determined to at least wash my face and fix my hair before he spotted me. I wasn’t prepared to explain or apologize for my appearance. Not that he’d ask, but he’d wonder.

  A woman exiting the restroom gave me a pitying look as she held the door open. Oh, hell. I should leave. I wasn’t up for putting on a brave face and struggling through the next hour. While patting my face dry, I made up my mind: Text Cody an excuse, get out of there. No. Get out first, text after getting on the subway.

  As if the universe heard my thoughts, as soon as I exited the ladies’ room, Cody turned away from the bar, drink in hand. Our eyes locked, and I looked down. I still wanted to bolt, but if he caught me running away, that would lead to more mocking comments in the morning, probably more flirtatious winks and innuendo. No, thanks.

  A moment later, he appeared at my elbow, navigating the crush of people more smoothly than if I’d headed toward the bar. Funny how people parted to let you pass when you stood between them and the place they wanted to go.

  “Sorry you had such a rough day.” How did he know about Beverly? Was he following me? Before I thought up an appropriate response, he continued, “If you hadn’t rolled that last seven, you could’ve won.”

  Oh, right. The first game of the day. I’d almost forgotten. Suddenly, it didn’t matter. Less than twenty-four hours ago, I could taste the croissants I’d buy when Dad and I went to Paris with my prize money. Now? The idea of eating anything made me want to dry heave.

  How could she?

  “Hey, are you okay?” Cody asked. “Want to sit down and order? It looks like you can use a drink.”

  Part of me bristled at my arch-nemesis seeing me so upset. That part still wanted to go back to my room, curl up under a blanket, call Dad, and cry all night. The rest of me wanted to get really, really drunk. So drunk I forgot my mother existed. The type of drunk where you pass out drooling three seconds after your head hits the pillow.

  Ignoring the tiny voice suggesting that Cody wasn’t the best person to get drunk with, I said, “Sure. A drink sounds good.”

  Cody went to put our name in for a table. Not wanting to wait longer than necessary, I went to the bar and ordered my drinks. Yes, drinks. A shot of tequila to take the edge off, followed by a Long Island iced tea. The shot burned its way down my throat, hitting my empty stomach with such force I thought it might come immediately back up. I coughed repeatedly, suddenly remembering I’d been thinking about stopping at a food truck before I ran into Beverly. Holly and I didn’t have time for lunch, so we’d grabbed snacks after we returned from checking into our room. My breakfast wrap suddenly seemed very far away. The thought of food still made my stomach churn, but if I didn’t eat something, I’d be puking in less than half an hour.

  The last thing I needed was to be indebted to Cody because he spent half the night holding my hair back. Or worse, what if I puked on him, after the way we met? To stave off disaster, I grabbed a menu off the bar and flagged down a waitress before heading over to the table.

  “Do you use peanut oil in your fryers?” I asked.

  The waitress hesitated. “I’m not sure. I can ask?”

  “Okay, thanks,” I said. “I’m allergic, so if it’s any other type of oil, I’d like an appetizer sampler brought to my table. Otherwise…” I scanned the menu quickly. “An order of spinach-artichoke dip with pita bread and carrots, and I’ll keep the menu.”

  She nodded, making notes before sticking her pencil behind one ear. “You got it.”

  I thanked her and went to find Cody, who’d settled into a spot a few feet away. As usual, he tapped away on his phone. “You still picking up groupies?”

  His face flushed. “My kid sister. She always needs help with stuff. But I’ll put it away. Sorry.”

  “No worries.” After seeing how Holly wished she could have a better relationship with her young half-siblings, I wasn’t going to begrudge anyone else family time—especially not when I’d give anything for some time with my mother. Or I would have before she snubbed me.

  “Do you want to hear about my first tournament?” he asked as I climbed into my seat. An obvious subject change, but not talking about family was fine with me.

  Probably I didn’t. He was going to go on and on about how no one was any sort of match for him, and he was the king, and… why was I even here? I hated overly confident guys. Strike 1. Plus, I preferred to avoid gamer guys outside of the actual gaming. Strike 2. Not to mention, getting too cozy with the competition had bitten me in the ass before. Strike 3.

  Whatever. I’d made a choice, so I needed to see the evening through. And letting him talk about himself would relieve me of the need to participate in the conversation, so I said yes.

  “Six years ago. First round local competition, held in Miami. I’d been playing the game for a few months, and I was still pretty green by most people’s standards.”

  “Let me guess, you won anyway? Because you’re so awesome?”

  He chuckled. “Not even close. Lost the first game by about six points. Put in a more respectable showing in the second, but still came in third. Eliminated the first day.”

  “That’s rough. But still, you’ve done okay since then.”

  “Yeah. I like the game, so I found a group and set up a monthly game night. We played all the time. Bought all the expansions.”

  I wrinkled my nose at him. “Ugh. I should’ve known you’d like expansions.”

  “What’s wrong with expansions?”

  “They ruin the purity of the game.”

  “Expansions enhance the game by adding a new layer of difficulty. They prevent people from getting bored and moving on to other games.”

  “I never got bored. Of course, I play other games. All kinds of games: cooperative, competitive, deck-building, whatever. My friends and I will play almost anything. Except Monopoly.”

  “Seriously? You play games like Catan and Ticket to Ride and Dominion but not Monopoly?”

  “Monopoly destroys families!” My face grew warm, and I gazed down at my drink. “There was, um, an incident.”

  “Man, do I want to hear more.”

  The words burst out of me before I could stop them. Stupid tequila shot. “It wasn’t my fault!”

  “Of course not.”

  “My dad and I used to play all the time. He’s the reason I love games so much. He started me with the regular stuff, Candyland and Chutes and Ladders and whatever. But each year, we moved on to more and more difficult games.”

  “Yeah, that makes sense. So you’re saying Monopoly was your gateway game?”

  I shook my head. “In a sense, maybe, but that’s not it. We were playing one day, and… one of the other players put up hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place. Every freaking time around the board, I somehow landed on both.”

  “Uh-oh.”

  He didn’t know the half of it, but this wasn’t the time. “Yeah. So, after I’d mortgaged everything and still didn’t have any money, I sort of….flipped the board. Sent it flying across the room. Broke a picture frame.”

  He burst out l
aughing. “Man, would I have loved to see that. But come on, you were what? Eight?”

  “Twenty-three.” My lips twitched. I tried to hold it in, but his laughter infected me. It felt good to let any emotion out after my day. By the time I finally took a deep breath and wiped tears of laughter off my face, my sides ached. Oh, how I’d needed that.

  Cody picked at the label on his beer for a moment. “So…. you said someone put up hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place. Was it your dad?”

  “No. It was someone who broke up with me very shortly thereafter.”

  “A-ha!” His eyes danced. “I knew there was a reason you didn’t date gamers.”

  That ex hadn’t been part of the gaming community, so she wasn’t the real reason, but I didn’t feel like explaining my past mistakes. “Let’s just say, things got awkward. She was in one of my classes at grad school. A few weeks later, she started rubbing my face in her new relationship. Every sentence started with ‘my girlfriend.’ She showed pictures of them to everyone. And the professor wouldn’t let me change seats in the middle of the semester.”

  To his credit, he didn’t react to the news that I dated women. Maybe someone had already mentioned it–our community was pretty small. Or maybe it didn’t faze him. I’d gotten too used to guys who thought “bisexual” meant “open to a three-way” or worse, “will perform with another girl while you watch.” Cody’s tacit acceptance was a breath of fresh air. My opinion of him raised a notch.

  The waitress brought our food, and we stopped talking to dig in. Cheese sticks and potato skins and buffalo wings hit the spot, especially after my second Long Island arrived at the table. Once I demolished a quarter of the plate in about three seconds, I started to feel more human.

  By the time Cody spoke again, I’d almost forgotten the topic of our conversation. “That must have been rough. I’m sorry.”

  “It wasn’t even about the girl. We had fun together, but I wasn’t in love with her. It just sucked to see how easily she replaced me. The way she enjoyed rubbing it in my face made me sick.”

  “So, that’s why you don’t date?” He tipped a beer to his lips. “One bad relationship?”

  “Not just one.” If it was only one person who messed me up, it wasn’t what he assumed. That person went by the name of Beverly, and she ruined me many years before I even thought about dating. My chest tightened, and I fought not to let him see how this conversation hurt me. “You say it like I’m a nun. Not hooking up with you doesn’t mean I spend every night alone.”

  “Who said I wanted a hookup?”

  “Don’t you?” I ticked off my points on my fingers. “You flirt shamelessly. You’re overly confident, suggesting you’re used to getting what you want. The night I met you, you were hitting on three girls at once. You joked about wanting a redheaded groupie. And your phone is usually going off so much, you must be getting notifications from like six dating apps at once.”

  He leaned forward. “Not all guys are the same. I’m outgoing, I’m friendly. People tend to think I’m flirting when I’m not. Tyler’s one of a handful of people I know outside of gaming conventions, so yeah, I talk to a lot of new people. But that doesn’t mean I’m looking to bang it out with everyone I see.”

  “What about the phone?”

  He slid his eyes to the platter before answering. “Work.”

  I didn’t even know what he did for a living. But his intense focus on the appetizers told me he didn’t want to talk about his job, so I turned my attention to the game on the TV on the wall behind him. I didn’t care much about baseball, but it was impossible to grow up in Boston without being happy when the Red Sox beat the Yankees.

  A moment later, Cody’s voice intruded. “Okay, so, I’ve overcome your objections. I’m not a player. What’s wrong with me?”

  “Well, for one thing, you don’t listen.” I raised an eyebrow at him. “Last time I checked, you’re a gamer.”

  “I am, but in my mind, that makes us a good match. Sharing a common interest shouldn’t rule me out.” It irked me to hear him use the same argument as Shannon. He reached out to take my hand, and electricity shot up my arm. “I know you’re attracted to me. I see it in the way you react to me. And I feel it, too. I’m not saying we have to live happily ever after, but why don’t you give me a chance?”

  The real answer, that I would like him too much if given the opportunity, sat on the tip of my tongue. This wasn’t like my ex-girlfriend, or the gamer who seduced me and dumped me a couple of years ago. I enjoyed talking to Cody. My skin tingled when he was near me. It would be so easy to lose myself in him. And when it didn’t work out… I couldn’t. I washed the thought away with the last of my Long Island and waved at the server for another.

  When I turned back, he still gazed at me with such intensity, I wanted to lean forward and kiss him. I couldn’t. And I couldn’t tell him the truth, that I simply wasn’t lovable, that trying to start a relationship would end in disaster. “It really is that simple. I don’t poop where I eat. Been there, done that.”

  “So that’s it? One bad experience and you write off an entire group of people? People you have something important in common with and spend lots of time with already?”

  “It wasn’t ‘one experience’. Relationships aren’t for me.” Not getting close to anyone made it much less likely that I’d ever again feel the pain of abandonment. Once fulfilled my lifetime quota.

  My heart throbbed as the look on my mother’s face earlier flashed through my mind again. Shaking it away, I said, “It’s one thing to meet people when I’m traveling. I’m happy to go out, have a good time, and go our separate ways. No strings attached. But I’m never going to see those people again. No mess.”

  He leaned forward, elbows on the table. “And why’s that? Love is awesome. Waking up next to the same person every day. Having someone to share your evenings with, someone to call when things go wrong, isn’t that the dream?”

  “Maybe for some people. It’s not my dream.” Time to get the hell out of here. I slammed back the rest of my drink and stood up, dropping a bunch of cash on the table. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”

  Cody caught my hand as I started to walk away. “Wait a sec. I’ll walk with you. You don’t know this neighborhood.”

  I shifted from one foot to the other while he fished out his own wallet. Part of me wanted to turn and run, but he was right. We were in a strange place, and with as much as I’d been drinking, I only sort of knew how to get to the subway. Or how to work the buttons on my phone well enough to find it. Or… where I was going. Probably time to find a car.

  Besides, safety in numbers. Waiting to walk with Cody had nothing to do with the feel of his hand on mine. It wasn’t like all I wanted to do was curl up in his arms and sob about the mother who never loved me and beg him to make it all go away. Maybe liquor wasn’t the best idea, given my emotional state.

  “First of all, I asked you here, I pay.” He closed my fingers around the bills I’d dropped. “Second, thank you for coming out with me. I enjoyed spending the evening with you.”

  A small smile crossed my face as I gazed up at him. The sudden movement made me sway, and I took a step forward to catch my balance. My breath caught when he put one hand on my arm to steady me. “Thank you.”

  His pupils dilated, showing me he also felt our chemistry. Chemistry much easier to ignore when I was sober. “You’re welcome. I like talking to you.”

  The alcohol very nearly got me to admit that I liked talking to him, too, but I stopped myself. My tongue darted out to moisten my lips. He reached up to cup my face, sending a wave of sparks throughout my entire body. I closed my eyes, savoring the feel of his palm on my cheek. This was a huge mistake, but I’d been alone for a long time. It had been a shit day, and maybe I deserved a nice ending.

  It would’ve been so easy to lean in, close the gap between us. To press my lips agai
nst his, beg him to take me back to his room, and wait for the entire world to fade away. When I woke up, I’d barely remember it, but I’d feel better for a little while. I wanted to know how his soft hands would feel on my skin, what it would be like to run my fingers along those abs. To taste him, to lose myself in those bottomless eyes.

  But I couldn’t. Not with Cody. He was my primary competition, and we had a tournament to finish in the morning. If I let him distract me, he’d win. That was probably why he asked me here in the first place. I shouldn’t be here at all. I should be in my room, Facetiming with Dad or gossiping with Holly about the day. The last thing I needed was to be here, with this guy who made me want to throw away all my rules. That path lead to disaster.

  My eyes flew open. His face was so close to mine, I could taste the liquor on his breath.

  Summoning every ounce of willpower I could muster, I stepped backward, breaking the spell. “Thanks for the drinks. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Without looking to see if he followed, I turned toward the door. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of bolting like a scared rabbit, although my heart pounded in my chest. Pulling out my phone, I found an available car half a block away. Although I wanted to look back, find out if Cody was behind me, I strode with purpose, not stopping until I reached the safety of the car and slammed the door behind me.

  As we pulled away from the curb, I spotted Cody on the sidewalk, watching to make sure I made it safely. He raised a hand to say good-bye. I pressed my palm against the glass, trying not to wish that instead of the smooth pane, I felt his skin against mine.

  Part III: Charlotte

  Gallivanting Gwen

  August 3

  So, I googled “Things to do in Charlotte,” and somehow all I came up with was this thing apparently called, “The Big Giant Head.” (Don’t look at me, I didn’t name it.) It appears that, somewhere in this delightful city of BBQ, there lies an office compound where the main attraction is an enormous head made of mirrors. Rumor has it the thing spits water.